Cruising

Two months ago in early November 2009 Heather, my wife, and I attended our Church’s annual school auction to support Holy Trinity School.  The auction concluded with a hat drawing for the grand prize – an all expense paid cruise to the Bahamas. To our utter amazement we won!  After a few talks with the travel agency we decided to go on our four day cruise January 10-14. Our only expenses would be round trip plane tickets to Orlando, a rental car and a few nights in hotels.  Our grand plan was to fly to Orlando January 7, 2010 rent a car and spend one night in Orlando.  Then drive up the coast to St. Augustine and visit with my wife’s uncle Phil for two days and tour America’s oldest city and by most accounts settlement.  Then drive to Port Canaveral and board the ship for the four day cruise and take a shuttle back to the airport for the return flight to Denver, CO.

The plan came off without any major hitches and we both returned refreshed despite a ten day spell of record low temperatures in Florida during the entirety of the vacation. However, I can’t help but comment on one aspect of this trip – the cruise.  Upfront I have to say I am not a fan. The setting of a boat destined for two ports of call spread out over three and a half days at sea and the concurrent corporal confinement accompanied was only part of the problem.  In short, as I see things:

1. Port of call dilemma.
2. Eating habits.
3. Magnification of worldly ways.

Ports of call present the cruiser with three options.  First, stay on the ship. Second, buy a prepackaged excursion and eat the exorbitant cost (e.g., swim with Dolphins $350).  The advantage of prepackaged is it’s all thought out for you.  Lastly, do it yourself and enter the shark infested waters ashore unabated.  At both ports of call, Freeport and Nassau, we opted for DIY. At Freeport once we had battled the mass of taxi drivers and caught a ride to the Lucayan Beach area we did some window shopping for about an hour. Wanting more adventure we rented a moped and vainly tried to reach Lucayan National Park only to get lost a few times, almost run out of gas, and nearly miss disembarkation. Emboldened by the first DIY experience at Freeport we repeated it at Nassau and spent the day at a public beach being incessantly solicited all manner of beach trinkets and sea scoter rides.  Additionally, on my second ocean swim I received a minor jelly fish sting. The private beaches were all either pay (i.e., $30+/person) or totally exclusive.

The ship offers two options for meals.  A nearly 24/7 buffet with many varieties of general junk food; soft serve ice cream, small boxed cereals, seemingly unlimited supply and variety of grocery store type cakes, etc.  Second, there was a formal dinning hall that served breakfast and lunch.  Breakfast was superb and those looking to eat healthy spartan meals were equally treated.  However, dinner was over the top eating every night.  Decent appetizers, medium to large rich entrees and the usual “it’s so rich I’ll puke” deserts.  I know what your thinking, “what’s the harm in a few decent meals and some rich food – heck I only get one vacation a year and I want to live it up!” I saw enough half eaten dinners, acts of random gluttony and trashed food to probably feed an entire large city’s worth of poor for month.  And at that they would be well feed. Clearly, America is an over weight society and the ship magnifies our problems clearly.

Lastly, all of the worlds ways were on display.  I won’t bore you with a blow by blow account but just one shinning example. Every night there was a “show” put on in the Grand Atrium.  Most nights Heather and I were in bed by show time.  The third night I wanted to see the juggling show, but sleep won out.  Finally, on the last night we went to see what was billed as a “Dance Ensemble”.  The curtain lifted and a Las Vegas style burlesque dance show ensued with barely dressed humans posing in sexual copulations amid a light show that surely pleased the devil.  Who knows what the rest of it was like as my wife and I made a b-line for the exit in under thirty seconds.

The one saving grace was the kind and humble house keeping and dinning crew on the ship who worked tirelessly.  They did their best daily to bear the cross of Christ.